Drama Short Stories

Like Water

by RelaxingShadow

I didn’t know it would all come to this. This feeling inside me tears and claws at my soul. Slowly I’m losing all hope. Slowly I’m losing the fight. Slowly I’m beginning to wonder, is this, indeed, the end?
It wasn’t always like this. I used to smile. I used to laugh. But i can’t remember the last time i did those things. I have forgotten what it’s like to be happy. Hell, i don’t remember what its like to feel anything at all.
Over time things grew dark. The world seemed to close inwards, and as it did dark thoughts would cloud my mind. I never understood why. Nothing happened to make me this way. I had everything i could of hoped for, yet this feeling i felt and carried around seemed to follow me, consume me, and take over me. There wasn’t anything i could do. I could drink all night long, but i never forgot the feeling. I never…felt better. No matter how many pills i swallowed, it never got any better. Only worse. When i walked outside i would look all around, seeing everyone carry on all happy like, stung.
I saw doctor after doctor looking for help, but all they did was recommend someone to talk to. Why should i talk to them? It’s not like they know what i feel. Its not like i could describe my feelings perfectly enough for anyone to understand.
I gave it a try once. Strayed to talk it through. But i didn’t feel any better after the fact. Worse, rather. I never understood why. Perhaps i was never meant to.
All i did was talk about what i felt, in the best way i could. But in doing so, i was reminded more and more how pitiful my life has become, how dreadful living has become. It was always just about my feelings, my problem. I longed for something…more.
It has felt like a losing battle. People say you gotta fight it, but there is no fighting it. You can ignore it and think of something else, take your mind off it. But you can’t fight it. It doesn’t work that way.
Maybe there is. I don’t really know. Maybe there is a way to fight it, but its a fight that drags on for so long that you forget what your fighting for. I think thats what happened to me. I forgot why I’m fighting in the first place. What was the point. I couldn’t remember what it felt like to smile. A world in which you can’t smile is not a world anyone would want to be in.
There was a lake i used to go to, beautiful lake. Water so clear, and so cool. I used to go there all the time. Over it, was a long stone bridge, covered in moss and so old you couldn’t make out the markings it once had carved into it. But sturdy. It connected to the other side of the lake where there were trails that went off in all directions. I thought to myself…that’s the spot. Thats where this chapter ends and no more are created.
That night, i put on some clothes, opened my front door, and walked into the night with my mind set on that place. It didn’t take me long to get there, and when i did it was just as i imagined. Quiet. Peaceful. I walked halfway across the bridge and went to the ledge. I looked over into the water for a while and pondered my decision. I wondered if this was truly it.
I got on the ledge as i continued to stare into the water. That’s when it happened. Out of the shadows she appeared. She must of known what i was thinking of doing, what i planned on doing. But unlike the others that came before her, when she spoke, she spoke with words i had not herd in a while.
“Its a beautiful night isn’t it?” She said, “Mind if i join you?”
I was confused. Did she know what i was truly here for, if so, did she want to do the same?
“You don’t want to join me…” I responded.
“It looks like you could use some company.” She said as she climbed to the ledge and sat beside me. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, in fact, i prefer it if you just gave me a minute to talk.”
She knew why i was here. With that sentence there i knew it was true. But i figured what the hell. I have come this far. Whats another few seconds if this is the end. It can wait.
“Life is a lot like water. It can flow peacefully, and it can crash onto land. But you will notice that every time it does so, it finds its way back. Maybe you are the water that has just crashed onto land…maybe you think that’s it. You are going to go into the soil. But if you wait, you will find your way back to the waters you once flowed in. I don’t know your story. I don’t know what you feel or think. But i can tell you, you are not alone here. Many have come before you. But every time, they find their way back. Im sure you can as well.”
I didn’t know what to say. So i didn’t say anything. Just continued to stare into the water.
She continued, “You know…I’m sure you have herd things like that before. And maybe you think its all crap. But thats okay, i think. Im not always happy. I have my bad days. But they go away. Maybe you have been having a bad day too, or bad week….month…year? But if things were always like this, life would be pointless. That’s the beauty of life though, its a ride, its got its bumps. If this was your final day here, what would you miss out on? There’s a whole world out there. Its yours for the taking. I don’t think you should give it all up today. I think…I think you should go home and try to make it one more night. If you can make it this night, maybe you can make it another night too. If you can make it another night maybe you will feel different, one day at a time.”
She got off the ledge and started to walk away. As she did i thought to myself, no one ever really talked to me like that before. It was always about me. What i thought. What i felt. She talked to me like i was a person, same as everyone else. Not like some weak or sick man. I decided, what the hell. Why not go another night. What’s the harm in it. So i did. I went home. Went to bed. Woke up. And tried to make it another night. I went to bed. Got up. And did it again, i made it another night, and another after that, and another after that. With each day, while i never felt much better than before, it all slowly faded. With each day i would just try to make it to the next morning.
After a month of going night after night, i returned to the bridge at the lake. As i walked halfway over it and stood at the ledge i thought to myself, “The water has finally made it back to the sea..”
I felt happy. Slowly. But i did again. I took it day by day, for no reason other than to see the next day. See what it brought. With each day, life brought me a little piece of me i lost along the way. And slowly i regained my former self. I could never thank that girl enough, for just sitting there with me and talking. She didn’t know me. She didn’t know what i was going though. She didn’t know my story. But she talked to me nonetheless. She didn’t have to…but I’m very glad she did. A simple act of kindness that saved my life.

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